On his way home from the park, Emmett and his grandparents stop by my real estate office to say hi. “Hey, I haven’t seen you since you were a little kid, and look at you, now you’re a big kid! I ask, "How old are you?” “I’m four-and-a-half.” “I’m 71,” I say, as I reach out my hand and shake his. … [Read more...]
Tales of Today
Heaven at Four
My son ~ When I picked him up from Moon Valley School, I could see he was upset. “Mom, do you know what happens to us when we die?” “Do tell.” “Charlie sang a song about John Henry, and when he died, they buried him in the ground!” “Well, what did you think happens to people after they die? You … [Read more...]
Got Eggs?
Easter 1999 ~ I’m in the back seat of Ed’s green Pathfinder with my friend Kayla, who is three, and we’re on the way to an Easter gathering at Wally and PJ’s place. Ed and Elaina (her grandparents raising her) are in front. Kayla shows me the contents of her colored wicker basket and announces, “I … [Read more...]
A Love Story
Sweet Scoops ~ While waiting by the register for my sundae at Sweet Scoops, a pint-sized child walks up next to me to where the paper napkins are. He’s not quite tall enough to reach them, and I catch the wire container just before he flips it off the shelf. “May I help you with a napkin?” I … [Read more...]
A Bereavement
Natalie Rose Sanford Sep 21, 2000 - Dec 22, 2018 In Memory of Natalie Rose Sanford ~ She struggled to find the imaginary light at the end of the tunnel, and now, so are we. When someone this age takes her life, we wonder why. Was it genetic, passed down through the generations? Was it … [Read more...]
That’s All Folks
Through Any Given Door/A Family Memoir has come to a close. Some of you have expressed disappointment that it’s ended. I imagine others are as happy to be done with it as I am. Though I’ve been asked to continue our story, I can’t (or won’t) for the following reasons: Many of my sources have … [Read more...]
Opening Doors
It doesn’t matter that I’ve lived here since 1973, nor does it matter that Sonoma Valley is a relatively small area. I’ve been practicing real estate here since 1982 and I still get lost. A lot. That's why I'm not crazy about showing houses to buyers. Sellers are easier to work with because I can … [Read more...]
Wait! What?
This May was a big month in the personal arena. My check-off list: ✓ Found my driver’s license that had disappeared three months ago ✓ Auto registration tag came, stuck atop the eight others ✓ New passport arrived, not that I plan to wander away anywhere ✓ Renewed driver’s … [Read more...]
An Indoor Girl
Look, I rode a donkey up the cliffs of Crete, waterskied down the Colorado River, and hiked the Cinque Terra. I trekked through the Mayan jungle and climbed Tikal. I hiked the pine forest above Rio Caliente, scaled Nevada Falls, and climbed rickety ladders to peer into ancient painted caves in New … [Read more...]
I Tell Stories About Her
My Middle Sister Liz It's now 13 years since she danced out of our lives, ain't that amazing... and still, sometimes I forget she's gone. I go to call her: I want her opinion on a difficulty with someone, or I can't remember how long to cook a soft-boiled egg. I want her to read this great book I … [Read more...]
A Chicken Story
It's been four years since Kim left. She didn't want to leave and I didn't want her to go, so we left it at that. “Will you leave me something in your will? No one's ever left me anything—mainly because most in my family didn’t have much to leave anyone, so just once," I said, "I’d like to … [Read more...]
How Did I Get Here?
In 1943, my father exchanged his iceman’s uniform for a suit and tie. Union Ice Company was having financial difficulties, and Dad had enough sense to get out of the cold. Offered a management position with Sprouse Reitz, he had the option of running a five-and-dime in Sonora or Sonoma. What a … [Read more...]
Final Migration
Elizabeth Ann "Liz/Betty" (Clemens) Duchi 1939 - 2004 My sister Liz knew everything about everything—and what she didn’t know—she made up. Her library was lined with books from architecture, antique lamps and art nouveau to tomes on history, the human body and Henry VIII. She also had every … [Read more...]
“It’ll Be Fun!” she says
“You know what we need to do?” she says. “Let’s take Deb to the coast for oysters. It’ll be fun!” she says. We'll take the scenic back road; the drive is beautiful,” she says. I love the coast and I love oysters so I agree it’s a grand idea. However, I have a brain lapse and forget about the scenic … [Read more...]
To My Wife-In-Law
Rebecca, the best thing that happened to our family was you. How could I not care for someone who loved my children as much as you did. You became my wife-in-law and the boys’ other mother. You filled in pieces that Bob and I didn’t have the ability to bring. I became the father, and you, the … [Read more...]
Awaiting a Grandson
I wrote this to my son Matt (who taught me about bandages, patience, and love) on his thirty-third birthday (1-14-2003) and who was awaiting the birth of his first child, a boy. That child, who is now nearly as tall as me—who can clean a fish, shoot a basket, and draw not only a cow … [Read more...]
Sam: A Dog Story
It was the worst day of his life, and I could hear the despair in his voice. Matt was calling from the emergency animal hospital in Sacramento. My son and his wife were on their way to the Sierras for a camping weekend. Pulling alongside on Highway 80, a woman frantically signaled them to pull … [Read more...]
My Friend Kim Heddy
Kim joined our office as an agent in 1994. As it turned out we had a lot in common: we both loved real estate, ice cream, and dark chocolate. In 2002 she became a partner in my real estate practice: she took over showing property to my clients, which meant I no longer got lost wandering around town … [Read more...]
Reincarnation
Elizabeth Ann Duchi Dec 3, 1939 - Oct 8, 2004 Sixty-four years ago my middle sister was born: Elizabeth Ann "Betty/Liz" Clemens. She was married forty-six years, had four children, and was the funniest person I knew. A year ago she developed a wracking cough. Eight months ago she was diagnosed … [Read more...]
Ten Years Have Slipped By
My Sister Liz Yesterday I found out my sister is dying. I know, thousands of people die every day—but they're not my sister. She's had this constant wracking cough for three months and we finally got her to go to a doctor. The first one said it was allergies and sent her home with nasal spray. When … [Read more...]
Shaken, Not Stirred
All right already, so it takes an earthquake to get me out of bed. After 10 days nursing the flu, I wake up to my house rolling one way, then rocking the other. The earth is jolting and roaring. My bedroom is upstairs where there is extra sway. The door to my upper deck has blown open and … [Read more...]
Meant to Be
At first, it was to be just the two of them at city hall. Then, it expanded to include our immediate family: the wedding couple, Matt and Brooke and their kids, my sons’ father with his girlfriend along with two of his former wives (a family tradition... I’m #1 and Rebecca is #2, but with great … [Read more...]
Cripple Creek to Salt Lake City and Back
Vacation Postscript (2006) My brother, his wife Marian, and I just returned from our fifth road trip of gathering family history: searching through county records, newspaper archives, and historical museums hunting for birth and death records, local articles, pictures, deeds, wills, and old … [Read more...]
On Being Four
Birthday Letter to My Son: You were four when I picked you up from school, and I could see that you were upset. “Mom, do you know what happens to us when we die!” “Do tell.” “Charlie sang a song about John Henry, and when he died, they buried him in the ground!” “Well, what did you think … [Read more...]