click arrow to listen to audio version: December 1952, Sonora, California The first time our mother left was in April of 1950, before I was two. Claudia was seven years older than I was, so that made her eight; Betty was ten, Carleen was fifteen, and Larry sixteen. Carleen snapped at us. “For … [Read more...]
On the Woo-Woo Side
Two events occurred on my trip to Southern California that caught my attention. The first was at the funeral of Kay’s (a high school friend) mom. Family and friends drove in a caravan with a police escort to the cemetery after the service at the Mormon Church up the road. Standing behind where the … [Read more...]
Private Matters
My father was German and my mother English, which could explain everything. On my dad’s side I’m a generation removed from hardworking, church-going, duty-bound dairy farmers. On my mother’s I come from freewheeling, drinking, smoking, gambling, hell-raising cattle ranchers with a couple of … [Read more...]
To My Wife-In-Law
Rebecca, the best thing that happened to our family was you. How could I not care for someone who loved my children as much as you did. You became my wife-in-law and the boys’ other mother. You filled in pieces that Bob and I didn’t have the ability to bring. I became the father, and you, the … [Read more...]
Visions of Hell on Earth: Chatfield Story
The Chatfield Story: Guest post from my cousins, Terry and Peg Chatfield-McCarty The flood of memories, the details of countless events recalled at late evening fireside, the myriad of horrid private images never shared with anyone—we can only begin to imagine how this original O’Dea Andersonville … [Read more...]
Teller of Tales
Teller of Tales This tale is a history, a fable, a prayer of those gone before me, now gathered with care. The diaries and pictures and letters enclosed deciphered my kin and what they supposed. Those who are living—their stories intact, Those gone before us—who knows what was fact? I met … [Read more...]
Perms
(Listen to Audio) Carleen always gave us a Toni the day before school pictures; she was making us beautiful. She shampooed us, yanked our snarls, swore at us to quit sniveling, then sat us in a row at the yellow Formica kitchen table. With old bath towels draped over our shoulders, Betty, Claudia, … [Read more...]
Credo For Today
Why am I here? Who am I? What do I believe? How shall I live my life? Where do I stand? When do I speak out? CREDO FOR TODAY Ten Commitments I shall honor Spirit: my God, your God, their gods, and the god within me. I shall honor my word, and take responsibility for what I … [Read more...]
Two Cents a Cut-Out
From Behind These Doors, a Family Memoir 1945 • Sonora ~ At six, Betty opened her first business. She admired the ads featuring beautiful cigarette girls wearing long gloves, short skirts, high heels, and satin pillbox caps—and particularly applauded the ingenuity of the lacquered trays … [Read more...]
Rattled
At 4:00 in the morning, I’m jolted from a sound sleep by a long, eerie howl—and by then on high alert with a second one that quickly followed. The ear-splitting cries are coming from the top of the staircase just inside my bedroom door. It was either a deranged human, or a crazed animal. I’ve … [Read more...]
Nothin’ But Trouble
August 1948 • Sonora I was welcomed into the family two years after Mom’s first breakdown, but not by her. She didn’t want another child; she wanted out. As far as she was concerned, I was a fifth burden tacking on eighteen years to her prison sentence. Another eighteen years of not wanting to be a … [Read more...]
Pinball Wizard
1932: Colusa to Los Angeles, California Shortly after marrying, my parents (Carl and Babe) moved to Los Angeles where Dad landed a job with the highway crews building the three-lane Ridge Route Alternate, which later became U.S. Route 99 at Grapevine. A hard worker, Dad was always employed, … [Read more...]
Queen Bee
Queen Bee Audio (Click link to play) I am the Queen Bee. You know how I know? My friends tell me, and I also have a pair of blue bikini panties with a queen bee on them that proves it. I have been known as the Carrot Juice Queen, the Dance Floor Queen, and the Queen of Curb, Gutter and Sidewalk. I … [Read more...]
Queen Bee Book Release!
Birthing a book is like birthing a child. It takes a long time, it's a lot of work, and it’s totally worth it. Most of the time. I think. But it’s done, and I’m over the moon. My second book, Queen Bee, Reflections on Life and Other Rude Awakenings, I’m delighted to announce, was released for … [Read more...]
Putting Pen to Paper
Why write? It’s complicated. I never had any intention of becoming a writer, to externalize and expose myself on paper. But as life would have it, I had a meltdown in a course I was taking, and out of that emotional quagmire I wrote a short piece called “Queen Bee.” That’s how all this started. I … [Read more...]
Half a Tuna on Toast
1954 • San Francisco ~ “Sprouse as in house, Reitz as in right” was the slogan used by my father’s employer. Nobody said “Reitz” right; they rhymed it with “Pete’s” so I corrected them. Taking the Greyhound to spend an occasional weekend with my father, he’d take me to work with him; … [Read more...]
It’s All About Me
Life... it’s all about me—me, and what I want. No one wants to admit that. Why? Because we don’t want anyone to think we’re self-centered. Google synonyms for self-centered. It has four pages of like words for those of us who are all about ourselves. Yet, we abhor others who are … [Read more...]
If It’s Not One Thing… It’s Your Mother
Audio: click arrow to play ~ We think our life is someone else’s fault. As victims of circumstance, blown by fate and buffeted by winds, we need somebody to pin it on. Our father often takes the heat, but usually it’s our mother. We also blame the schools, the government, and the past. If it … [Read more...]
Gold Country, Sonora
1943: Sonora, Tuolumne County, California ~ Emerging into view from the crown of Highway 49 and a mile from end to end, the town of Sonora is tucked into the foothills and ravines of the Sierra Nevada—the gateway to California’s gold mining region. During World War II, most of the men not … [Read more...]
Dharma
“We’ve been brought here for a very short time, against our will, and we don’t know why.” I love that line. What is the point of our birth and life and death? Why are we here? What is our true purpose? These thoughts keep some of us up at night; others have never … [Read more...]
Dick and Jane
Audio: click arrow to play ~ Dick and Jane • 1955, San Jose, California ~ Jefferson Elementary was like all grammar schools: the classrooms arranged with five rows of seven metal wood-topped desks; the playground as barren and flat as a prison yard; the morning and midday recesses echoing … [Read more...]
California Mid-Century Classic
On my last marker birthday (sixty-fifth) I muddled over penning my obituary, my epitaph, or a newspaper ad. My own obituary was too weird to write. My epitaph was a no-brainer ... And since I’ve been in real estate in Sonoma forever (actually it’s now 35 years, which is about … [Read more...]
A Defining Moment
Audio: A Defining Moment * December 1953, San Jose (click arrow to listen) I don’t remember how I got there or who dropped me off, perhaps Daddy waited in a car across the street, or maybe the family I’d been living with brought me. Who knows? It didn’t really matter; I was coming to live … [Read more...]
A Billet-Doux to My Siblings, 2004
Audio: Billet-Doux (condensed version) click arrow to listen Dear Gordon (Larry) and Marian, Carleen, Liz (Betty), and Claudia, My writing began with “Queen Bee.” When I shared it with each of you, it gave us a connection we hadn’t had. I also read it to our cousin Marceline whom I’d met … [Read more...]
Positively Haight Street, 1968
Audio: (click arrow to listen) 1968 was the year Eldridge Cleaver published Soul on Ice. He and his wife Kathleen, who had the most immense head of hair I'd ever laid eyes on, banked at my teller window. It was the year of the Yippies, Black Panthers, and the SDS, the year Martin Luther King was … [Read more...]