Catherine Sevenau

Opener of doors, teller of tales, family scribe.

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A Bereavement

By

Natalie Rose Sanford
Sep 21, 2000 – Dec 22, 2018

In Memory of Natalie Rose Sanford ~ She struggled to find the imaginary light at the end of the tunnel, and now, so are we. When someone this age takes her life, we wonder why. Was it genetic, passed down through the generations? Was it societal? Was it chemical? Was it situational? Or was it an organic mental illness, some arbitrary flaw in her make-up? What desperate black hole trapped her, making her believe death was the only way out? Suicide is devastating; when it happens to your daughter, granddaughter, sister, niece, or cousin, it’s unfathomable. I don’t think any of us understand why, except others who teeter on the edge of or inhabit the deep, dark hole of depression. I sit in sadness for Natalie, her friends, and our family, knowing my niece lost her footing and it was too hard to climb out, and knowing I have no answers.

Attached is the link to my great-niece’s memorial page with her obituary. Natalie Rose Sanford, you will be missed.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/195605670/natalie-rose-sanford

Natalie flying high at Sand Dollar Beach with her mother and sister.

Her mother Pamela, Natalie, and sister Isabelle

Isabelle, Grandma Marian, Natalie, Grandpa Gordon

Comments

  1. Beautifully written with a heavy heart. Time eases the pain, but never gives us answers. Bless those who loved her.

  2. Thank you for sharing this – it’s an unfathomable loss Cath. I think you go one day at a time and keep her memory alive as best you can. I’m so sorry for your loss – what a darling girl. Hugs to you – Marguerita

  3. Dear Gordon, Marian, Pam and Isabelle,
    We are so sad too. Just read your beautiful Christmas letter and photos of you all together with Natalie in Yosemite, and how the girls were both going to perform in the Christmas services. We will always remember your visit on the farm about 8 years ago, and how Natalie and Isabelle played so well with our MN nieces. Hang onto God, He does love you, in the valleys and the mountains of life. May you all be with Natalie again in heaven with God. love, Jim and Connie

    • Thank you Jim and Connie. I’ll make sure Marian sees this and reads it to Gordon. The service for Natalie was yesterday. Beautiful and poignant, their church filled to the rafters with love and appreciation of this young woman.

    • Thank you, Connie, for your special words and thoughts. We have been surrounded with family and friends, love and prayers. Natalie was a very special child. We remember so well our wonderful visit to your buffalo farm.
      Marian and Gordon and family

  4. Unfathomable.
    A deep, dark pit of despair,
    so often unseen.

    Despair is transformed
    Into survivors’ grief, of
    Family and friends.

    We can’t understand
    The depression, the silent
    Yet soul-searing cry.

    Locked up in prisons
    Of our own mind and making,
    Each a unique pain.

  5. As I know the depth of your close bond with family I can imagine your breath suspended in midair upon learning of Natalie’s passing. May caring sentiments and love of friends bouy you.

    • My heart aches for her mother and sister, and I’m concerned about my brother and sister-in-law, her grandparents. They were the ones who helped get here to the hospital. I’ve never heard my brother cry, until then.

  6. Thank you for sharing your pain. I’m so sorry your whole family is having to share its depth. May the new year bring happier moments- and may we notice them as they fly by. Maggie

  7. May you and your family find your path through this dark time. My experience with a friend’s suicide brought pain, confusion, grief, guilt, loss and anger. Over time the weight of it got lighter, but the loss left a void and a scar and an unanswerable longing and wish that his path had been different. The path he went down altered the lives of all those left behind. Deeply.

    May you find comfort in your family and friendships. I’m so sorry for you all and for her tragically shortened life.

  8. I can’t even imagine this tragedy happening in ANY family. My heart goes out to you and yours, Catherine. It’s hard to know what to say. There’s no way to make it “better”. The pain must be excruciating. Take good care and thank you for sharing this message and the beautiful photos of Natalie in happier times. You are all in my heart, as always.

    • Thank you Lynn. The family has received an abundance of love, and for that, we are grateful, especially Natalie’s parents, grandparents, and sister. It is what is seeing them through this.

  10. Dear Catherine, It’s hard to find the right words. . . Dave and I are so sorry for your loss and for your family. It’s difficult to imagine how one reaches this point especially at such a young age. Our love to you. Barbara and Dave

  11. I cannot comprehend the pain and heartbreak that this tragic loss has left behind…a beautiful young girl with her life ahead of her…I hope that memories will bring some comfort. My love and prayers go out to you, Gordon, Marian, and the entire family.

  12. Dear Cathy: I had no idea regarding this notice that it was so recent. Please know you and the whole family are in my thoughts and prayers also! We went through this with my nephew’s brother.in.law in November; we can never get over the loss. RIP dear Natalie.

  14. Cathy – I can’t imagine the painful loss you are all feeling. I am so sorry for all of you. When someone so young and so full of promise dies, for whatever reason, it creates a so much confusion and hurt. Love one another.

  15. We are very sorry to hear of this sudden loss. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the family. Mark and Rossella

  16. Incredibly sorry for you family’s loss of Natialie. Words seem so trite at a time when your grief is so deep. Hugs

  18. To suffer this kind of loss, when a young life seems so full of endeavor and accomplishment, seems like such a contradiction. I can only imagine this kind of pain. My arms are around you and sending love to your family.

  19. Oh Catherine… Joanie and I are so, so sad to hear of this. How devastating for your whole family. I can only imagine what psychic pain she must have been in… as I see it in my own children and know that it could just as easily be our story. Depression is a sneaky demon. Sending you so much love and comfort and know we are here if you want to go on a hike or just out for tea. Hugs to you.

  21. Dearest Catherine my heart breaks for you and your family. I’ve never lost one so young, however, depression and suicide has touched my family as well. I’m so so sorry. Bonnie

  22. I’m so very sad for her. She must have been in incredible pain. I hope she found the peace she needed. Rest in peace sweet Natalie

  23. It was devastating to hear the news of Natalie. I pray she has found the peace and love she was looking for but could not see that it was always there. The fog now lifted, invites the light of a new day.

  25. I am sorry to hear this of your grandniece. She was way too young and seemed so full of life. I don’t have the answers, and neither did the families of those I remember. They are left to wonder what was wrong with a life that seemed to be on the right track. Love to you and your family at this difficult time.

  26. Prayers for peace in the family. So hard for those of us left behind–all we can do is wonder what we missed. Love to you, Sweetie.

  29. We did not know Natalie, but to lose a granddaughter or any other member of the family has to be devastating. Our condolences to Pam, Larry and Marion, and the rest of the family. Love from the both of us, Dick and Pat Hauser

  30. Sometimes life can break your heart. My son has cancer. Just read this: “The nature of family is that we are bound to one another in our joy and our pain.” Sending love to your family.