4.02 Letters From Claudia

Claudia Clemens
4th of 5 children of Carl John Clemens and Noreen Ellen “Babe” Chatfield
Born: Mar 28, 1942, Vallejo, Solano Co., California
Died: Aug 21, 2011 (age 69), Escondido, San Diego Co., California; lung cancer
Married: Sep 16, 1956 (at age 14), Bobby Milton McDaniel, Sparks, Washoe Co., Nevada
Divorced: May 1973,  Lauderdale Co., Mississippi
Five children

My Sister Claudia ~ Excerpts from letters written by Claudia to our brother Gordon and his wife:

March 7, 1983
Dear Marian and Gordon,
Three guesses why I’m writing and the first two don’t count. I need to borrow some money. I had planned on using my income tax refund, but this tax man tells me I may have a long wait for that. He said I will get back every penny I paid in eventually. But I really can’t afford to wait.

I’m sure you heard about all my belongings being sold. Well, I have a good lawyer, but he’s gone as far as he can go without money. He wants $1,000 to begin litigation. The people that own this Mini Storage place haven’t responded at all and the lawyer said that everyday that goes by makes it look worse for them and now he can add a bad faith suit against them.

He also tells me it may take 2 1/2 years to settle this. In the mean time I asked him about finally going back to court and raising the child support I get. I’ve been receiving a whopping $70 per child. I sent to Mississippi and got copies, I hadn’t seen those papers in 10 years. Anyway, the way it’s phrased is I’m supposed to be getting $350 for the kids’ support, it doesn’t break it down per child. Anyway, my lawyer advised me to go see this other attorney for this. As the way it stands, Bob owes me over $15,000 in back child support if they uphold the terms. In any case I could have my support raised in three months and I desperately need to do this, but again I need money to pay the lawyer. I can pay you back when I get my tax refunds. Other than all that it’s been a crummy year.

I’m working for a mfg. company (they make electronic thermometers for hospitals) making $500 a month less than I was at Webbs, and at that at Webb’s it had been 18 months since I had a raise. It has been a bear trying to stay afloat. I drive 60 miles a day in my 5 year-old four cylinder and wonder how long that poor thing can keep going. I don’t know what the lawyer for the child support will cost, but I would guess about another $1,000. Please let me know if you can help. I hate like hell to ask you but I’ve run out of options. I took out a loan on my car already after all my stuff was sold to replace some of our essentials that went real fast.

Marian, I hope you’re feeling almost human again. I know how awful a hysterectomy can be and you have all my sympathy. Was sorry to miss you all at Randy’s reception.

Our love to all,
Claudia and Kids.

Note: Gordon sent Claudia $1,000 on March 10, 1983. She repaid him in August of 1985.

August 15, 1985
Dear Gordon and Marian,
Have been trying to get this check in the mail for a week. I’m always too pooped by the time I get home at night to write. I’m really relieved to be working again, but I’m sure out of the routine. It makes for a very long day. I get up at 5:30 and don’t get home until 6:30 at the earliest. I find myself eating about 9 o’clock. Hopefully I’ll get over being so tired soon!

I got my settlement last month. By the time the lawyer took his cut, I got 9 thousand some odd dollars, the total settlement came to over $18,000. I went to another meeting in San Diego last Friday to begin the second law suit. In this one I should recover the $9,000 paid out to lawyers plus punitive damages. They tell me this one will take another 2 ½ to 3 years before it comes up. In the meantime, to get it started I’ll have to spend some of my spare time getting information together for the lawyers for that. I’m learning the wheels of justice grind very slowly, but hopefully they will grind very fine.

I can’t begin to tell you how much this loan meant to me.
Love, Claudia
P.S. I’m enclosing pics I just got back. Was supposed to have them for Xmas. Just a little late.

October 28, 1985
Dear Gordon and Marian,
Received your letter and check today, can’t thank you enough. I really believe today is my lucky day. I went grocery shopping and bought 1 lottery ticket and won $100! Sent it off this afternoon so now I’ll get a chance at least to be in the drawings for the big money. I almost fell over as this was only about my 5^thticket and hadn’t even won $2.00! Later I went and bought one more ticket and won $2.00. Turned that in and won $2.00 more so quit.

I did receive a letter from Dad and Marie and he sounded good. Guess you received a copy of their letter also. Oh yes, can you send me Cathy’s address? I found her phone number, but no street address. Take care and keep your fingers crossed for me on the California Lottery, after all someone’s got to win and I’ve beat the odds before. The Dr. told me when I had the twins, the way I got pregnant with them (a month apart), the odds were about 1 in 1,000,000 of that happening!
Love, Claudia

Note: “Superfetation is the formation of a fetus while another fetus is already present in the uterus. Essentially, it describes a situation where a woman becomes pregnant when she is already pregnant. It is believed that this is a very rare event and only a few cases have been reported and verified. Superfetation occurs when ova from two separate menstrual cycles are released, fertilized, and then implant in the uterus. Normally, once a woman is impregnated, physical and hormonal effects would make this impossible. Her hormones are the first barrier in a normal pregnancy. They act to halt the process of ovulation and prevent the release of another egg from her ovaries. The uterine lining also changes after one embryo has implanted, making further implantation difficult. Although two fetuses develop simultaneously in superfetation, they differ in maturity, having been conceived days or even weeks apart. Superfetation is observed in animal reproduction, but it is exceedingly rare in humans. Only a few cases are documented in medical literature. Superfetation is suspected only when the twins are of different sizes and at different stages of development. It is typically noticed during a routine checkup on the ultrasound. However, it can be hard to distinguish whether this is a true case of superfetation or due to other factors.” (quoted from an article on the internet)

October 11, 1986
Dear Gordon and Marian,
Just sitting here thinking of you so will write. I owe a letter to Aunt Elizabeth so will warm up by writing to you. HaHa!

I’ve been wanting to write a thank you for the talk you started at Dad and Marie’s. It was the first time I’d been with my sisters and didn’t get caught in the middle of a roast on our mother. I think it set them all back and made them think I’d always get very upset over these sessions, though I hoped it didn’t show.

Please keep in touch. Always love to hear from you.
Love, Claudia

June 12, 1987
Dear Gordon and Marian,
Just got home from a meeting so will start this. I went to after care last night and they gave me your letter. I got out of Oceanview the 28^thof May. It is a great place and probably the best thing I could have done for myself. I was driving around yesterday (seems all I’ve done lately is drive here and there!) thinking and wondering why I couldn’t have done the same thing only by myself. But I couldn’t. I haven’t felt so well physically and mentally in years. I’ll never be able to thank them or pay them enough for giving my life back to me. Plus, all the really wonderful people I met there. They put you through the wringer intensely for 30 days and if you have any sense at all you put everything you can into it and the benefits are tremendous. I’ve seen miracles at the change in people after time there. I still have a long way to go, to pull myself out of my shyness and keeping everything inside me, but at least now I’ve been given some tools to work with and I stay aware of things that could start me off on a depression and head them off. Plus, I found a whole lot of people that think just like me or worse, so I don’t feel I’m out of step with the world anymore. I go once a week to after care for group therapy and then again on Friday for a meeting, plus other meetings I hit periodically all over the place, but the time I spend at Oceanview is the most supportive.

As for everyday living I’m easing myself back into the mainstream gradually. My first week out was rough but this week I’ve felt really good and am doing more. I’m trying to get the apt. in shape which is difficult as in a small one bedroom, I’ve enough space for my stuff but Kathy’s is kind of crammed in. I’ve sent out a couple of resumes and put in one application, but I’m not desperately pounding the pavement. The nothing jobs I’ve had the last few years don’t exactly inspire me to get myself into another one. Hopefully with a different attitude the next job will be a better place for me.

Liz called for me while I was in Oceanview and I never returned her call. I will call her but it will have to wait for a day when I feel mentally up to coping with her. In the past she’s always been able to undermine my stability without hardly trying. So, I want to make sure I’m really mentally able to deal with her first.

Well it’s late so I’d better close and get some sleep. Love to you both and give the girls my love.
Love, Claudia

August 29, 1987
Dear Gordon and Marian,
Can’t keep track of you guys. You turn up in the strangest places. I envy you your travels. I keep promising myself to make a better attempt at getting my birth certificate just in case. But I’ve never been able to get one, I’ve always had to settle for my baptismal certificate. I swear this year I’ll do it, or at least find out why I can’t get it.

Everything is going so well here, it’s scary. I started what was to be a temporary job for a month at a commercial baker on the 10^thof Aug. I stood in for an old friend I used to work with while she went on vacation. She runs the customer service department. Anyway, after she came back, they told me they could use me in their shipping office while their shipping manager went on vacation. But then Friday the boss came in and offered me another job permanently as their “distribution specialist”. They had hired a man 6 weeks or so ago and he was on a 90-day trial basis and they said after seeing my work and considering my qualifications, they felt I could do the job better than him as he’s been struggling. They started me at $20,000 a year and considering they were paying him 25, they got quite a bargain. But considering that’s more than I’ve made in years, I think we both made out. I’m still pinching myself. I’ve worked a hell of a lot harder for a lot less money. I can’t believe it. Of course, my girlfriend is none to happy with me for accepting that salary. She said now they’ve got Dummy #1 (her) and Dummy #2 (me) doing their work for them and saving 10 grand a year as every man starting out in their offices all come in at 25 and she knows it. She’s been there 5 years and is only making a little more than me. But I’m happy as a clam, for me it’s doing a job I enjoy and which seems easy to me, as I’ve done so much with traffic and inventory control not to mention customer service.

I’m also staying real close to the aftercare at Oceanview and AA meetings. It is all very helpful which is an understatement. Both programs are mainly ways of gaining insights into one’s own personality and ways to force you (if one sticks with it) to overcoming fears and maintain a positive frame of mind. For instance, I’ve always been terribly afraid of people especially strangers in bunches. Forcing myself to speak out at meetings and group therapy was awful at first. I’d have rather taken a beating. I still don’t enjoy it, but I do it. In fact, I’ve volunteered to go to the hospital one day a week and run a meeting out there. For me that’s a major, giant step.

I’ve also taken up my meditation I learned last year when I went through a stress-reduction course and that is very helpful also.

Looks like everyone’s life is on the upswing at last. God willing it’ll stay like that. Well no more news, so I’ll close for now.
My love to all, Claudia

April 13, 2007
Dear Marian and Gordon,
All’s quiet here so will get a note off to you guys. Thanks so much for my birthday card. I’m now officially a senior citizen! Finally got all my Medicare up and running and getting caught up on tests and all my physical stuff taken care of. Even had a colon exam because I had an unexplained weight loss and found out I have what they called a mega-colon. The Dr. said its four times longer than normal. They told me the exam usually takes 15 minutes, mine was an hour and 10 minutes. My stomach is still not back to normal and it’s been 3 weeks.

Glad to hear you are responding well to your eye treatments. I know that must give you major fits. The only thing I have in my eyes are cataracts in both but looks like it’ll be years before I’ll need surgery.

Hope everything is well for you both health wise. I’m doing better all around than I have for some time. Other than my COPD (which I brought on myself by smoking) I’m in good shape.

Well no more news from here. Keep well.
Love, Claudia

Note: In these letters to Gordon and Marian, Claudia wrote often of her five children; for brevity and privacy, those references were omitted.

*****

I didn’t see a lot of Claudia during our adult lives, but reconnected with her while gathering information for the memoir. A couple of friends noted she was seldom mentioned in it, and I realized I didn’t know much about her. We spent hours on the phone; she talked and I took notes. We also shared stories about our kids, work, health, and ex-husbands. We were both divorced within months of each other in 1973. She made it through 17 years and I only lasted five. She told me of her diagnosis of bipolar disorder and manic depression, and wondered if Mom also suffered from these problems. We agreed that was probably so; there just wasn’t a name for it in those days.

Claudia and Betty (Liz) seldom got along. Claudia avoided confrontation at all costs and Liz generally came out with guns blazing. On one of her manic days, Claudia drove from Escondido to Liz’s place in Fallbrook, thinking she could clear the air of all their past upsets. Sitting by the pool, Claudia talked non-stop for hours, dredging up every hurt and insult that she felt Liz inflicted on her since they were kids.

It didn’t go over well.

Liz sat in stony silence. She already had little affection for her younger sister, and now she really hated her. I gave Claudia kudos for finally speaking up, but perhaps she did go on a tad long. Liz thought Claudia was not only manic, she was crazy. Liz, who was one of the funniest people on earth, had absolutely no sense of humor when it came to relationships. You were in or you were out. She now considered Claudia a dead woman. I tried my best not to laugh when I heard both versions of the story. Claudia thought it went well. Betty, fuming and furious, reported it was an effing train wreck.

Claudia relinquished alcohol in 1987, but giving up smoking was impossible. For several months I sent her money for nicotine patches, but one time on the phone I heard her inhale. She admitted to buying cigarettes with what I was sending her, but only a few cartons. I quit sending her money. A couple of years later, in 2011 at the age of 69, my sister died of lung cancer.

© 2018. Catherine Sevenau.
All rights reserved.