19 Nods to Facebook

1. Finally! I can quit feeling guilty about not sending Christmas and birthday cards.

2. I’m partial to posts that are interesting, insightful, or just plain weird. Where else would I find a zillion uses for white vinegar, coconut oil, and WD40, or know about the Ellen DeGeneres show.

3. I can leave a comment or an opinion. I can agree or disagree. I can like, or not. And when I think someone is clueless, no one can see my head shaking, though those that know me can hear my eyes rolling.

4. It allows me to practice self-restraint. When I read a post about politics or guns or gays that is really, really retarded, I can’t come through the computer to smack anyone upside the head. However, when an occasional post is mean, out of line, or offensively rude, my fingers become possessed and take over the keyboard. And sometimes I disagree and say so just because I feel like it, though if I’d eaten first I probably could have saved everyone’s energy.

5. As far as addictions go, this one is easy on my pocketbook, health, and body. Some days it’s a total time suck. However, I like getting a Facebook fix and besides, I’m 65 and can do pretty much whatever I want. (My other obsession is genealogy—now THAT’S a time suck—and OMG, talk about being obsessive-compulsive.)

6. I’m able to salute weddings, births, graduations, retirements, new jobs, new books, new houses, new sweethearts, victory laps, and home runs. I can send blessings to those who have health issues, lost friends and family, or have moved on.

7. I can say hello to relatives and peek in on how folks are doing. (I have a huge family and won’t be checking in on the majority of them any other way.)

8. I know when friends’ birthdays are, and feel like a celebrity on mine.

9. It gives me the chance to banter with my sons, who by the by, are both pretty funny.

10. Some posts are profound. Some are wise. Some are hilarious. I cackled at the recent one by the blonde drama queen on Dramamine. My favorite ones are snarky and make me snort tea out my nose.

11. I can tag along on your vacation and don’t have to amble over a month later to sit through three hours of slides. Or have you drag my butt up some mountainside.

12. I get to connect with business friends, dance, writing, and workshop friends, old friends, classmates, kids’ friends, friends’ kids, long lost friends, and even make new friends.

13. I see who’s playing music where and reading poetry when. I find out about classes, movies, music, books, recipes, blogs, events, social media, and things that interest me that I otherwise might have missed. I get to share what calls to me.

14. I love the pictures: old, new, family, friends, yes, even some of the dog and cat ones. (Just because I’m not an animal person does not make me bad. Seriously, it doesn’t. Some of the animal posts are cute, and some of the videos make me laugh; but the ones billed as: HILARIOUS! You HAVE to see THIS CAT/DOG/GOAT. Really? The caps are the perfect tip that they are NOT EVEN CLOSE to being hilarious, and shoot me if, like a sucker, I ever open another one that litters my page.) Sorry, I got a little sideways here. Where was I?

15. I can hang out with friends and don’t have to get dressed, wash my hair, put on make-up, or have them over.

16. I get to share my sweet and rapidly growing grandchildren.

17. It triggers remembrances of the past buried in the corners of my mind.

18. Facebook is a way to be seen and to be heard.

19. It’s a way to my expose my writing with shameless self-promotion. As confident as I am about it, to that same degree I can be insecure. So I appreciate the clapping and huzzahs and “I love your writing!” The support gives me fortitude for the moments when the voice sneaks up behind me and whispers in my ear: “Dearie, your writing sucks.”

Side note: When he was four, my son Jon would raise his skinny little arm in the power salute of the day and proclaim: “Right arm!” He was such a goofball… he didn’t realize it was: “Write on!”

Catherine (Clemens) Sevenau
June 28, 2014